Believe it or not I can now feel the aging process creeping into my life. Body functions aside, I am seeing things from the psychology point of view. These days it is incomplete if I don’t watch or read the news. I wake up early even on the weekends. I cry when I read life stories in Reader’s Digest – especially the ones that involve fatherly love.
Having no experience of having a real father, I have always been scared of the commitment of being a father. Last week 2 tester sticks yelled at me saying that I should now be prepared to be one. I know this day will come, and I am glad it did.
I am beginning to feel changes in my life. It’s kinda an automatic thing.
- I used to like to speed when driving especially when I am alone. Now I drive at speed limit, thinking that I don’t want my kid to be an orphan.
- Spiritually, I used to be lazy when it comes to executing my religious obligations. Not anymore.
- I think of quitting smoking a lot more frequently than before.
- I am going to execute a well planned exercise plan to get healthy and reduce my unhealthy weight.
- I feel less intrigued on the ideas of spending my money on my expensive toys.
One thing that amazes me the most is that when I went out for dinner at Alamanda earlier, I feel that kids I saw were cuter and more adorable than ever before. This is very amazing because I used to dislike kids and think that they are annoying.
I am worried, but I am very happy. I may not be jumping with joy like most first time fathers do (I was raised in an inexpressive family) but I am very happy.
God, please give me strength to go through life. I really want to be a good father.